I have had lots of 'good ideas at the time' that involved some risk or challenge to my fears; moving to another state, applying for a promotion, travelling alone, having non-essential surgery, studying while parenting and working full-time. The list goes on. When I rehearse new 'good ideas' in my mind they sound wonderful and the me who is executing the role is strong, confident and organised. It seems so simple, so natural, so perfect.
I do of course look at the challenges; I am naturally analytical so I consider issues from every possible angle. It's only when I've completed an inventory on the pros and cons of a 'good idea' and consulted a cast of 'experts' that I make a call. It all makes logical sense. I acknowledge the fears and they appear manageable to my logical brain. Excitement sets in and stays for quite a while with the vision of a strong, confident and organised me executing the 'good idea.' Then as time moves closer, the first little seed of doubt begins to push its head up through the depths of the earth. The warm soil that hugs the little seed provides a fertile and supportive base for the little doubt seed to push and poke its way to the surface.
I feel the little doubt seed growing in my belly where it churns around telling me that I should have played it safe and saved myself this anguish. It provides me with a range of excuses to allow me to pull out of the 'good idea;' Too busy, too old now, too expensive, not experienced enough, not healthy enough, time poor and certainly not organised enough. And as if on cue, the physical symptoms come in to play, proving my health most certainly is an issue. I start to get organised when under pressure and realise I can't possibly achieve my unrealistic 'to do' list. I need more time. I won't cancel but I will postpone. Somebody talks about their age being a barrier and I listen just too intently. A story is told about a stupid financial decision....... The doubt seed is growing at a furious pace.
I have enough self awareness to know I will be challenged every time I have one of these 'good ideas'. I know that doubt seed will grow and multiply, causing me untold misery but I press on with my plans somehow knowing that the doubt seed will be outgrown by stunning masses of 'good idea' flowers.
Can you relate to my 'good idea at the time' scenario?