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Teaching children to say sorry and accept apologies

26/10/2014

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This is a  simple four step process to prepare young children to say sorry. It's a good idea to go through it with your class to explicitly teach each step of the process so that students understand and feel comfortable when the situation occurs. It could be taught explicitly as part of class meetings, in social skills and values programs or in Religious Education classes, in units based on forgiveness or relationships.

The four steps
1. Look at the other person (look)
2. Use their name  (name)
3. Tell them you are sorry and what you did that was wrong (sorry)
4. Promise not to do it again (promise)

If you explicitly teach the process and use it consistently it will not take too long before students can share an apology independently. Prompting by using the key words: look, name, sorry, promise can also be helpful when the student is familiar with the process but just needs a little help. You will find that before long, students can formulate their own apology based on this simple structure. 

Here's how the apology might sound:
"Michael, I am sorry I took your ball without asking. Next time I will ask you before I take anything belonging to you. "

The other child should acknowledge the apology by responding, "I forgive you, Nick" or "I accept your apology, Nick." or "Thanks for the apology, Nick" Being hurt in any way by another person is not ok so I prefer not to respond by saying, "That's ok."

Restoring is an important aspect of setting things right in a relationship. Many schools use restorative practices as part of their behaviour support process. My experience says that in most cases when students are asked what they require to help restore a situation or relationship, they ask for an apology. I often suggest
 a restorative action that aligns with the problem. Some examples....

If the ball was thrown away........ go and get it back
If a mess was made..............clean it up
If a child was excluded from a game.........invite the excluded child to play


Ideally some time should be spent with each student alone to prepare them for their part either; saying sorry or accepting an apology. It is a time to renew relationships and the process should therefore allow both parties to express themselves and be a simple, calm, healing time for all. 


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The Brownlow Medal; a values lesson for primary students

23/9/2014

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Recently the Australian Football League celebrated its night of nights; the Brownlow Medal.  On this night, the player who has been voted by umpires as the season's best and fairest is finally revealed. Unfortunately, some Australian school students are on holidays but the more passionate students will still enjoy discussing the event when they return to school. 

The Brownlow Medal provides a wonderful opportunity for students and teachers to highlight values; to pay tribute to the true blue heroes and role models of Australia; those whose contributions make our country the exceptional place that it is. The National Framework: Values for Australian Schooling  lists nine key values. I have added other terms for those with school based values programs.

1. The recipient of this Year's Brownlow Medal, Matt Priddis from West Coast Eagles. 
  • His exceptional determination and hard work on the field. His pursuit of excellence.
  • His award is for best and fairest. What does this mean?
  • His  acceptance speech highlighted his genuine humility, sincerity and respect for past recipients and team mates,  the ongoing support of his parents and love for his wife and daughter. 
  • Priddis missed three national drafts before being selected by West Coast Eagles. He had a dream to play at the highest level. He dealt with his disappointment and passionately worked towards the realisation of his dream. What a brilliant example of resilience and persistence. 
  • Priddis left Melbourne the next morning to return to his family in WA. What does this show of his values? 
  • What is a role model? Is Priddis a role model?

2. The recipient of this year's Jim Stynes Community Leadership Award, Beau Waters from West Coast Eagles. 

  • Waters' commitment of  time and effort over many years to several projects to benefit cancer patients and vulnerable youth. His actions show care, compassion and responsibility. 
  • This award allows Waters to nominate a charity to receive a gift of $20,000. What charity will be the beneficiary of this money? 
  • Waters has dealt with significant injury throughout his career. He has dealt with his disappointment and worked pro-actively to overcome injury as well as share his time with others in the community. Again, an example of resilience and persistence.
  • What is a role model? Is Waters a role model?

Add any further ideas you have for learners. 


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The Ball Pit; Encouraging Class Connection

9/9/2014

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Here's a great clip from Soul Pancake for teachers to watch. Below are some ideas for incorporating the ideals of this clip into your class and school.
Teacher Reflection
I love the concept! Of course, we know that connection is vitally important to well-being. Student well-being is enhanced through positive relationships and community connection. We are often surprised to learn that some students don't even know the names of all their classmates. 

View the clip first before sharing with your students to ensure content is appropriate. You may choose for your class to view an excerpt only or to provide a class ball-pit experience instead.

You could easily set up a ball-pit experience as Soul Pancake has done in the classroom or playground or perhaps provide a simplified version having some conversation starters on cards for pairs to use. Some sample conversation starters are provided below.

Vocabulary
bucket-list (0:44)
multiple sclerosis (3:20)
curling (1:00)


What were the benefits for the strangers in getting into the ball pit to chat?
  • Learning from each other (what is curling? 1:00)
  • Finding common ground
  • Getting to know another person and possibly making a new friend
  • Sharing personal stories 
  • Enjoyment  

How do you think the strangers felt before climbing into the ball-pit?
This question should provide some excellent vocabulary to display in your classroom. (You could ask students how they feel about going into a ball-pit if you provide a classroom ball-pit.)
  • Examples could include; apprehensive, anxious, scared, fearful, tentative, sceptical, challenged, excited, exhilarated, nervous, thrilled, ambivalent. 

What personal qualities did you recognise in the strangers?
  • They were risk takers (Could have been mocked or ridiculed for their responses)
  • They welcomed each other (introducing themselves/shaking hands/smiling) 0:26
  • They listened to each other without interrupting
  • They showed respect (e.g.: "Is it ok to talk about a religious person?" 2:27)
  • They showed respect in their response to the other person's story (e.g.: "I quit everything I try" 1:28)
  • They asked questions (e.g.: "Aren't you afraid of drowning?" 0:58)
  • Their body language was positive
  • They were open to sharing and accepting another's ideas

What could we do in our school/class/family to provide a 'ball-pit' experience without using a ball-pit?

These suggestions could provide a weekly focus where skills are explicitly taught and then practised
  • Greet others around the school or in the classroom
  • Have a daily 'circle-time' activity to learn about each other; names, favourite foods, games etc
  • Respond positively to the greeting of others
  • Offer to help students, teachers and parents (Carrying books, opening doors, providing directions etc)
  • Compliment others (and accept compliments graciously)
  • Welcome school visitors
  • Invite other students to play 
  • Buddy new students

How do 'ball-pit' conversations fit in with our school values?

Most schools articulate values that fit in with developing positive relationships, respect, understanding and tolerance for others.

Having a 'ball pit' conversation has so many wins

Win 1: Meaningful conversation and learning about others is a valuable life long skill to develop and refine. 
Win 2: Connection with others provides a 'feel good' boost to both parties..... a win for you and them.
Win 3: With practice we can improve our ability to compliment others and to accept compliments.
Win 4: While creating conversation you're providing a positive example to others, especially children.
Win 5: Happiness is contagious and this is one small way we can contribute to goodwill and happiness in our community. 

Classroom Ball-pit Conversation Starters 
  • Share an activity you would love to try
  • Talk about a sport you love to watch or play
  • Who inspires you. How do they inspire you?
  • Share your favourite holiday experience
  • What has been the most enjoyable activity for you today?
  • What is one thing you learnt today?
  • Share a time you have been lost
  • Give an opinion; laptop or pencil?
  • What is your favourite subject?
  • Give an opinion; Homework helps your learning



More great clips are available at www.soulpancake.com


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Feel free to add others ideas in the comments section.

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Pray for Peace- for Teachers in Religious Schools

23/7/2014

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Reba McEntire recently released a new single  'Pray for Peace'. She says the idea came to her during a walk on her property where she was singing to herself, "Pray for peace." From a simple beginning, the song has taken on its own life and the clip presents an extremely poignant and powerful message. Reba says of the song, "It’s an act of perseverance, prayer, hope, fellowship and mostly love." http://www.reba.com

Reba's song was coincidentally released at a time when people worldwide were united in their devastation at the tragic loss of passengers on MH17. It's a time when we are painfully aware of the need and desire for world peace.

As Simply Spirited! focuses on simple ways to promote values, including peace, Reba's song is a powerful way to promote student awareness for world peace. Celebrities including Keith Urban and Nicole Kidman have shown their support for Reba's initiative. How compelling it would be to have school faith communities endorse this initiative by prayerfully and vigorously singing and following the actions.

It is vital that along with the unified chorus, "Pray for Peace" our behaviour reflects the ideals of Reba's song. Our every day behaviour and actions can promote and encourage peace in our family and our community; the first step towards world peace. What is one action we can do today either individually or as a class that reflects Reba's ideals  of "perseverance, ... fellowship and mostly love?" 


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